Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Sometimes...I just...Can't be bothered

I have often wondered if I was wired wrong.
You know, when I was being made someone made a mistake and got some shit in the wrong place, or just thought ''fuck it this will do''
I have three issues (four if you count the fact that my immune system sucks ass)...that totally fuck my life up every now and again, which is the reason why I've been out for the count these past few days.

Number One: I have an inability to absorb Vitamin B12 properly, that's the good stuff that helps your body create Red Blood cells (among other things). At one point it was so bad I had 2 weeks off work, I could barely get enough energy to get out of bed to have a shower....and yet I didn't feel sick, nor did I feel sleepy...I was just exhausted, beyond tired, my skin was so pale it was practically transparent, my hair was falling out etc. It took 4 weeks of weekly injections, and a following 4 months of monthly injections to get my B12 levels to acceptable levels. I'm meant to take tablets daily, but I suck with medications and fail to remember it sometimes for weeks which means I rock bottom out every now and again....like right now, sleeping 14 hours a day easy.

Number Two: An ongoing battle with depression. I don't take medication as such for this, I'm meant to, and sure it might help, but the side effects read out to me from taking these types of medications, teamed with what I've seen them do to some of my friends I would rather learn about what causes my condition and moderate it myself. I do take St Johns Wort though as I believe this teamed with the above condition is like the worst combination EVER.

Number Three: Probably the worst personality trait to have when you suffer from the above two illnesses....laziness. I just can't be fucked a lot of the time, and when you feel tired from the combination of two actual illnesses....its hard to get off your ass and power through when you also suffer from sheer pure laziness.

However after reading some of the shit other simmers have had to deal with the the last year, month, week, and some of them their whole lives.....I feel like I should be dealing with option number 3. So I'm going to get up, get out of this red bath robe (I'm sure it smells, it's either me or the bathrobe) have a shower, drink some fucken coffee and get on with it!!


  1. aw i feel for ya. i dont have the b12 thing, but i sure so suffer thru my share of laziness (i seriously think its a medical condition) and depression.
    i have been wondering for years if chronic laziness could actualy be a medical issue. i WANT to do things. i just cant muster up the motivation/strength.

    hang in there tho. and take your b12 meds, you silly. :P
    lol thats another thing i suck at. if i had to take pills to live id be dead

  2. Hehe I'm actually surprised I haven't had any ''accident babies'' the amount of times I've failed at taking my birth control pills....my husband has got into the habit of checking the pill packet everyday to make sure I've taken them.

  3. That really sucks, PK. Sorry to hear about that. :(

    Everyone has their own bit of...fucked-upness. :P and we all have different things we gotta deal with and you're no exception. Keep your chin up, do what feels right to you and just live the best you can =)

  4. Don't be too hard on yourself about the can't-be-fucked thing. That's not laziness. When you get to the stage where you're not depressed and your body is sucking up those B12s nicely, then you can call yourself lazy if you still can't be fucked.

    I have depression too. It sucks. When I'm at rock bottom, my arse wouldn't move if a bomb was put under it. And much of the time, I'll feel absolutely fine emotionally, but just constantly tired and profoundly apathetic.

    I wrote a post about it a little while ago. Maybe you can relate: http://galateacoolcat.com/2010/11/02/managing-depression/

    Chin up. You're not alone in this boat and those of us who understand will always be around to prop you up when you need it. :)